Manners maketh man: Reviving the charm of etiquette in the ultra-modern era

In this age of social media, the art of etiquette, particularly for men, seems to be on a leisurely stroll towards obscurity. But are we side-lining the refined grace of good manners?

K Tanzeel Zaman

K Tanzeel Zaman

The Daily Star

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Illustration by THE DAILY STAR

November 20, 2023

DHAKA – In the whirlwind of today’s ultra-modern society, where Tinder and Bumble have replaced courtly love and emojis substitute for heartfelt conversation, the art of etiquette, particularly for men, seems to be on a leisurely stroll towards obscurity. This begs the question; in our pursuit of all things modern, are we inadvertently side-lining the refined grace of good manners?

The etiquette exodus: Where have all the good manners gone?

Back in the day, a man’s manners were like his secret CV — no LinkedIn needed, just good old-fashioned politeness showing who he really was. Fast forward to today’s world, buzzing with high-speed tech and ever-changing social vibes, and suddenly, classic moves like pulling out a chair or holding the door seem a bit… vintage. Saying “please” and “thank you” feels almost as retro as using dial-up in a world where Wi-Fi is king.

The struggle of the modern man

The modern man finds himself in a peculiar dilemma. Should he hold the door open for his date and risk being labelled old-fashioned, or should he march ahead, embracing a modern, independent ethos while possibly coming off as rude? It’s a tightrope walk between being chivalrous and patronising.

The value in vintage: Why old-school etiquette still matters

In a world where ‘seen’ messages go unanswered and ghosting is a dating strategy, the charm of old-school etiquette is like a breath of fresh air. Etiquette, at its core, is about respect and kindness, qualities that are timeless and universal. It’s not just about knowing which fork to use; it’s about making others feel valued.

Ultra-modernism and etiquette: A balancing act

As society evolves, so does the concept of manners. Ultra-modernism need not be the nemesis of good manners. Instead, it’s about adapting these traditional values in a way that resonates with today’s world. For instance, being attentive in conversation, be it with your date or your friend, now includes not glancing at your smartphone every five minutes.

Without etiquette: A forecast for future generations

Imagine a future generation where thank-you notes are relics and holding the elevator door is considered bizarre. The erosion of etiquette could lead to a society being less empathetic and less connected, despite being constantly ‘online.’ Manners are the glue that holds the social fabric together; without them, we risk becoming a community of isolated individuals.

Bringing back the gentleman: A call to action

Let’s dust off the concept of the gentleman, but give it a fresh, modern twist. We’re not talking about strutting around in top hats and tailcoats — that’s a bit too vintage! Instead, let’s redefine what it means to be a gentleman today; someone who’s not just well-dressed but also big-hearted, kind, and always ready to show respect and thoughtfulness. Think of it as a classic charm with a 21st-century update — manners 2.0, if you will!

As we ride the wave of ultra-modern times, its important to remember good manners aren’t about being stuck in the past; they’re about rocking timeless values in a brand-new era. Sure, we’re all about staying trendy, but let’s not forget that classics like politeness are always in vogue. In the end, manners maketh man, and a dash of courtesy is forever stylish, even amidst the hustle and bustle of Dhaka.

The whole idea of etiquette isn’t just some old-school concept. It’s like adding a bit of vintage charm to our everyday hustle, making not just our lives but also our future a bit more connected and kind-hearted. So, guys, let’s not toss aside the charming allure of good old manners too quickly. In this fast-changing world of fleeting trends, sticking to the gentlemanly way might just be the coolest move yet.

And hey, let’s be clear: the whole spiel about manners and etiquette? It’s for everyone, everywhere, no matter who you are. We’re talking about a universal code of being nice and respectful — qualities that don’t care about gender. They’re the real MVPs that bring us all together, building a world that’s not just cool, but also kind and welcoming to all.

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